What my daughter learned about leadership and West Point on her birthday.
My daughter’s birthday is always an exciting time of the year. She makes sure to remind us that her birthday is “coming up”. This year, as her special day came and went, the typical components were present; laughter, piñatas, happy kids, and birthday gifts. However, there was one thing that was a little different this year. One of her gifts stood out a little more. For her. For me. And for our entire family.
She received a birthday card from Colonel Everett Spain. That name might not mean a lot to you, but COL Spain is the Department Head of Behavioral Sciences and Leadership at the United States Military Academy at West Point. His job entails leading an interdisciplinary team of faculty and staff. Despite his many roles, none is more important than the character development of the cadets at West Point. Nowhere in his job description does it entail writing birthday cards for his faculty members children. COL Spain was awarded the Soldier’s Medal for his courageous actions during the Boston Marathon bombing. If you met him, you’d never know any of that. His humility is that of the majority of military officers, who embody quiet professionalism. My time in service has given me the opportunity to see a lot of good leaders who go the extra mile, who make hard decisions, and put others before themselves. This is part of the culture of the US Army. Most army officers have completely accepted the reality that majority of the population will never know their names, deeds, or impact on our society. And they are content with that reality.
When Jasper opened up the birthday card from COL Spain. She asked a profound question…”he remembered me?”. She was not asking if he remembered her birthday, she explicitly was asking if they remembered her, as a person. To give context, I teach at USMA in the summer(s). This was our very first summer to campus and my family was present for a very short time to get acclimated to our new summer battle rhythm of teaching at West Point.
Jasper talked about the card for a couple of days and continually inquired more about “what exactly is West Point”. “What do you do again, daddy”. These types of comments continued to come up randomly in our car rides, meals, and bedtime routines. As a psychologist my expertise is on human behavior and observation. I’m contending that this small gesture provided my daughter two salient lessons about leadership and West Point.
1. Leaders do the small things because they don’t see them as “small things”. A birthday card can be viewed as a small gesture of thoughtfulness, but the truth is that good leaders do not see these gestures as small. Soldier care, care, and being a caring leader are all components of leading well. During my time in the military, I have always been amazed at the amount of people who take the initiative to lean into the task at hand. Volunteering first. Listening intently to directions and the situation. Eating last to ensure that others needs are met before their own. These small behaviors are the simple actions that speak volumes with no words. I see this small gesture as a reinforcing variable that contributes to solidifying what it means to be in the Army. And more importantly, what it means to be a leader. Leadership is caring and leaning into the small, yet defining moments.
2. West Point is special. Not much more to say beyond this point. My daughter knew that before her birthday card, but the card allowed her to have an embodied experience that was notably different. In my experience of serving in the Army for 19+ years, the people that I have met from West Point (cadets, graduates, and faculty) are memorable. I do not want to idealize all of them, but there is something special about the intentional character development that they carry with them well beyond their years at West Point. My daughter had the chance to experience this firsthand. I’m not sure if she will attend West Point when she grows up, but I do know she understands a little bit more about being a leader. She knows a little bit more about paying attention to details. She knows a little bit more about taking the time to demonstrate care. She knows that our family was inspired to replicate this type of leadership in our home, in our work, and beyond.
Dr. Cedric Williams is a Consulting Psychologist, Assistant Professor, & CEO of Legacy Consulting & Research Group. His work and research interests are in the domains of Multicultural Competence, Emotional Intelligence, and Leadership. He served as the Diversity and Inclusion Chairperson for the American Psychological Association’s Division 13, the Society of Consulting Psychology from 2020-2021. Dr. Williams provides executive coaching, assessment, and consulting services for individuals, teams, and organizations.. In addition, to his work as a psychologist, Dr. Williams has served in the military for over 19 years as an enlisted Infantryman and Infantry Officer. His current US Army Reserve duty has him serving as an Assistant Professor in the Behavioral Sciences and Leadership Department at the United States Military Academy at West Point.
Dr. Cedric Williams
Founder + CEO
Legacy Consulting & Research Group LLC
